Living Small, Not Large

January 15, 2014

           Today for the first time in many days, I used dental floss.  I like flossing, but I'd run out a few weeks ago and didn't want to spring for a package at Duane Reade, preferring to wait until I could go to COSTCO to buy several for a lower price point.  However, I don't plan to go to COSTCO anytime soon, as I've several other items I want to run out of before I have to go there.

           At the same time as I ran out of dental floss, I found a large package of dental "picks" in the medicine cabinet.  I have chosen to use them up before purchasing the dental floss.  It's not the same, the "picks" are flexible toothpicks and easy to poise between two teeth, but they don't travel the borders of the teeth the way floss can.  Still, I decided I'd use up what I had already paid for rather than immediately spend for replacement floss.

          The funny thing is that I found a package of unwaxed floss I picked up on a trip and couldn't wait to use it.  The filament felt good against my teeth, the movement of my hands, the dryness of the floss and of my teeth, together abrading whatever is on the tooth surface for a good cleaning.  I'll use the floss as long as it lasts, then revert back to the "picks" until my supply is exhausted.  Such frugality may not be absolutely necessary, but exercising the impulse not to waste anything makes me feel that much more in control.

           As I've watched the cost of living go up while my income remains fixed, I've felt increasing anxiety.  Beau's advent has brought home just what I can expect in a concrete way: the cost of keeping him is about $300/a month, which is a fixed cost.  In my life prior to Beau, that money was discretionary income I could use to pay for a few dinners out.  Now I don't have it to spend that way.

           It would be a mistake to think that I regret Beau's entry in my life: not at all.  In addition to the pleasure he brings me, his upkeep has been a useful tool for purposes of demonstrating exactly what my true financial situation is and will be if I keep my apartment.  So I decided to sell.

           I don't think that Bill and I ever lived lavishly, although we were fortunate to be able to indulge in good meals out and foreign travel.  Yet my investments (like those of most, in mutual funds), will never throw off anything like the income Bill and I together earned yearly.  With the outlook for middle-of-the-road investments over the long term dipping well below the 8% our parents could have expected,  the baby boomers' retirements may not be as comfortable as their parents'.

           Now that I've decided to sell, I'm relieved.  I'll be able to sell relatively quickly, I hope. If that happens, I'll indulge myself: I'd love to have a manicure and a pedicure and have my hair done.  The nails of my hands are black with grime, no matter how much I scrub them; like laboring men's hands.  Of course, in handling a puppy the hands take a beating; but it would be lovely to have my hands dipped in emollient solutions, the cuticles trimmed professionally, the "white" of the nails restored to, if not an immaculate condition, a cleaner one.

           For the moment, that will have to wait until my budget's less tight, though.  What pleasures I'll enjoy then!  Will I be living "large", as they say in the parlance of Las Vegas?  Not a bit of it.  There will be a well-earned easing of the financial stays, though.  I'm looking forward to it.