January 31, 2014
Beau became one of the "Coneheads" this morning; but not one of the Saturday Night Live "Cone- head" characters made famous by Jane Curtin, Dan Ackroyd, John Belushi and the other first season players. Beau became a "Conehead" by having to wear what veterinarians call the "collar of shame", a cone-shaped barrier to scratching a wound or skin eruption.
What provoked the nasty rash in Beau's groin I saw last night when I came home from an evening out, I don't know. Neither does Dr. Kagan, the veterinarian at Riverside Animal Hospital, where I took Beau this morning at 10:15 a.m.
Dr. Kagan took a scraping which revealed little, except that there were too few white blood cells to indicate an infection, and that "mites" were not the cause of the irritation. He also used a "black light" to try to see anything more he hadn't been able to catch with the microscope.
The treatment seemed simple, at first. "You should wipe the affected area with 'Baby Wipes' then apply the cream 2-3 times a day. And I'm going to prescribe a special shampoo, which you should use 1-2 times a week. And you have to put a cone on him for at least two weeks. You can buy a hard plastic one here for $20, or you can buy a soft one at PETCO. He might accept that more readily."
Dr. Kagan made one more comment before sending me on my way. This is where it got interesting: "It doesn't look like ringworm, but it would be a good idea if he didn't sleep with you for the time being. Ringworm is the one skin disease that dogs can transmit to humans."
He offered to do a "fungal test". "We'll do the test in two weeks and once more after that to verify the eruption has resolved, but to be on the safe side, you could do the test now. I would recommend a topical ointment or, if there's a concern about ringworm, we could start treating him now with a steroidal cream."
--Ka-ching! I was already in the hole for $237.00 without the fungal test and the higher-powered cream. I decided to wait two weeks to see whether the rash went away.
In search of a "soft cone", Beau and I walked to PETCO on 92nd Street and Broadway, and I dutifully bought the soft "cone" --for $40. I also had a tag made for Beau with his name, mine and our address --$10.00. And I bought a refill for the peanut butter spread I spray into Beau's "Kong" to keep him occupied and quiet when I am out --$10.00. --Last night I exited without doing so, and found a note pasted to my door from my next-door-neighbor announcing "HE BARKED FOR HOURS!" In response, I wrote a note of apology to my next-door-neighbors, and promised not to forget to give Beau what would becalm him.
We walked to PETCO and home through Riverside Park, so Beau could enjoy himself. Once at PETCO, he submitted to the "cone" without complaint. Returning home, I bathed him in the kitchen sink, then towel-and-blow-dried him. Then I reaffixed the "cone" and applied the ointment the veterinarian prescribed.
The lengths to which I will go for the dog amaze me, but each time I ponder why I am reminded of a formulation of the philosophy of Jeremy Bentham, the utilitarian thinker and proponent of "the greatest happiness of the greatest number" as the criterion that ought to govern the making of public policy. He is believed to be the first person to have raised the issue of "animal rights", by arguing in The Principles Of Morals And Legislation as follows:
It may one day come to be recognised that the number of the legs, the villosity of the skin, or the termination of the os sacrum are reasons equally insufficient for abandoning a sensitive being to the same fate. What else is it that should trace the insuperable line? Is it the faculty of reason or perhaps the faculty of discourse? But a full-grown horse or dog, is beyond comparison a more rational, as well as a more conversable animal, than an infant of a day or a week or even a month, old. But suppose the case were otherwise, what would it avail? The question is not, Can they reason? nor, Can they talk? but, Can they suffer?
It is obvious to me that I am sensitive to every nuance of Beau's state. A responsible pet owner is. What was less obvious to me at first, and I see more clearly now, is that I take a great deal of pleasure in caring for Beau as well as I can. I must admit there is almost nothing I would not do for the dog. Bathing him in particular, gives me great satisfaction because he is at his loveliest after. The beauty of the animal and the attention he attracts is a source of pleasure, but more, I take pride in how well-cared for he is.
Which makes me no more sane than those late 19th century Parisians who began to take canines into their homes not as animals with set tasks they had to perform --as had been the case previously; but as cosseted companions, cared for and spoiled by their infatuated owners. Anyone who has seen Renoir's masterpiece, Madame Charpentier And Her Children, will remember that in the idyllic scene, one of the toddler sisters is seated atop a large sheepdog, who dozes unperturbedly amid the opulent surroundings.
Perhaps there is something in the calm of a happy animal that soothes us, and impels us to try to make his life as happy as possible. We may not be able to master a language, to triumph professionally, or shake our neuroses; but making a dog, a cat, a horse or a bird happy through its life with us seems to nurture not just the animal, but ourselves.
P.S. Beau's "soft" cone is too small to keep him from scratching: I return to the animal hospital and purchase a hard cone, which causes Beau to butt like a bull. It's a Rube Goldberg contraption with gauze for a tie and slots to weave a strip through, but properly put on, he can't scratch. Once home, I take it off to feed him and then put it back on, clumsily: they never showed me how to put it on at the animal hospital, but put it on in the back. The smaller one will have to be returned to PETCO, although I don't know how much good the new one will do. I've got to leave Beau for a few hours, so I've filled his Kong with peanut butter spread. I wonder what I will find upon my return.
P.P.S. What I find upon my return is that the hard cone is too large for Beau to wear in the crate and he has already partially undone its fastenings. The gauze band that is tied around his throat makes me worry he'll unwittingly twist it tight, so I abandon the hard cone and put the smaller one back on. Beau doesn't seem to have much incineration to scratch or lick the affected area, so perhaps we'll be able to manage the two weeks with it. And hopefully whatever is causing the crusty red eruptions isn't ringworm.
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