Comic Relief

Monday, February 17, 2014

     Just when you might have thought that I was hopelessly mired in clinical depression, let me hasten to reassure you: this evening I found a way to make myself laugh --and heartily.

     --I signed up on "OK Cupid", one of the no-fee dating sites available on the Web.

     First off, no sooner had I begun to post my photo and supply some personal data than I began receiving "indications of interest" as they used to call them in the brokerage business.  The inquiries came from men aged 37 to 70.  I was most interested in the former, to tell the truth: So I began a conversation with a young Indian man who "works all the time" and whose name on the site looked like a pun meaning "not interested".

     When I asked about the "tag" he didn't seem to get the joke and went on to ask me whether I was interested in finding 1. a friend; 2. a friend with "benefits"; 3. a lover; or, 4. a husband.  He went on to tell me he was sensual and a sensitive lover.  "Too much information!" I thought, ending the conversation.

     Another man, also in his late thirties, told me that I seemed "lovely" and to "ignore the barriers".  The first line of his message read "Well, om, I like your photo."

     When I asked whether he had deliberately written the world "om" in allusion to the mantra "Om"; he, too didn't get the joke and told me it was "an autotype".  (What's an "autotype"?)  When I asked "What barriers were you thinking of?" he told me "That you are not in my favorite lounge having a drink with me."  I guess he was wishing we could surmount the barriers of space and time by vaporizing there.  (--Perhaps he's a "Trekkie".)

      The younger generation seems not to know how to flirt.  Perhaps there are too many computer engineers among them, too preoccupied with how to get something to function to realize there are nuances to pay attention to when getting a relationship "off the ground".  (There's another aerospace metaphor!)

       Then there are the men who write from places impossibly far away: Arizona, Florida, Princeton, New Jersey.  Eight million people live in New York, some of them are men who only like women and traveling as far as Brooklyn is how far I'll go to meet one of them.

       Actually, at this point I can see myself  having lots of conversations of five minutes maximum with men who use the site.  Despite the fact that the Internet is an unequaled tool of communication, if those who use it aren't articulate, I at least, can't take it too seriously as a source of romantic adventures.

       On the other hand, after having felt as morose as I did earlier in the day, having (at least at the outset), a steady source of "nibbles" in response to my solicitation of offers of companionship, is like starring in my own situation comedy:

       --The episodes are brief and the comic potential is enormous.